I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize