The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
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sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
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For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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