Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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