Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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