At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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