If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
