Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
My bed smells like the plague
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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