dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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