just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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