you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize