Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
