yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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