perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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