Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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