can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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