Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
please come you make the beer taste better
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
