it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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