she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
