I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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