Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Randomize
