Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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