That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
