ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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