dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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