so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize