Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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