question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
