that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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