i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
