I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
