Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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