so explain again why im purple
no
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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