the new term for farting is butt boxing.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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