Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
