Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
