Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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