Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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