i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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