Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize