Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
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i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
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The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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