Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
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i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
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I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.