Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home