Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
No stitches, just platelets and will power
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
