He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
