Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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