Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
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She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
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Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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