Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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