i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT