Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
