So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
