how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
