So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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