i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
