just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize