STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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