How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
